An actual Light within

Nearing two years ago I was consistantly meditating daily for the first time in this life. I was practicing Patanjali's Raja Yoga and studying the Qabalah (merely reading and formulating the sephiroth and correspondances in my mind).

One afternoon I sat down to go within, I had visions but nothing like what was about to happen.
As I slowly breathed in and out and focused on my wish to know God, I felt/seen a light flickering in my lower chest region, it was flickering around slowly coming up.

I should say that it came from below, because my eyes were closed and it was just nothingness/dark.

This light flickered up to my upper region and I tried to think it still, it disappeared. Then for some unknown reason I stood up from the chair and layed down. I was in awe and wonder by this. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths and then it surged through me like an electric shock, tensing my muscles arching my back, it was a super bright white light now in my head.

It rested in my head behind my eyes and was vibrating and flickering behind them. As soon as I thought about it it died out, and came back during meditation and when I would awake from sleep at times.

Shortly afterwards I started to think I may have been enlightened, but I did not notice anything beside that Light. As weeks went on I fell out of meditation and felt real depressed, I felt like I wanted to get away and become a monk in the middle of nowhere. I quit my job because I could not stand to be around the people there, slowly I returned to the escapism through self medication that I had done all my youth. My friend/teacher said it may be a dark night of the soul, but seemed to not be able or want to tell me what that Light was.

in the last few months I had the urge to really devote my time and energy to taking it all back up, after a lot of reading and my friend also recommending it, I am being thorough on clearing up any unresolved conscious or unconscious problems within. Prepatory work one might say.

That Light started flickering again during meditation, not every time but usually in the morning.

I read of light within, but I did not know it was literal. I still am unsure what it really is, I thought it may have been a brain tumor for all I know.

The good thing that seems to have happened is that I feel like there is some higher calling, an unseen Order beyond this world that I will Work with, after preparation and when I am permitted to Know and be my Self. It could be a fantastic idea from books by "Initiates", but I am a bit scientific about my experiences and subtle feelings and it seems this may be more real than the world this body was formed in.

hello , how are you? when i had the light experience it was similar as far as my body did experience some pain.I also
thought i had a brain tumor, in fact when it was happening i thought i was actually dying,and i prayed .I told God you can have me ,take me but please be merciful and let me take my boys to school and daughter to the sitter. the experience furthered into a vision of which I believe was September 11 . I also continued to hear this singing, it is odd and hard to describe, it stayed with me for a little over a year, the day it was gone was devastating, i felt such a sense of loss,but at the same time i had this tactile reassurance that i was going to be okay now, that i made it through . i was 27 at the time
i do still have Light experiances,during deep prayer , also during times iam being used to teach . NOTHING again can compare to that first experience , at times i cry with such deep longing for it, then the Grace of God washes over me, and the Spirit of GOD tells me that it was a foretaste of Glory Divine. like i said during prayer i grasp fleeting moments of this raptures experience that i believe i will only experience the fullness of when i cross over to HIM

I think such experiences help us to let go of this "temporal" realm and embrace Eternity, knowing what it is. For, now, we have experienced the glory of Eternity, why should we cling to the temporal?

The Dark Night is quite truly a blessed night. Self-Medication will not stop God's Grace. There will be nothing in this world to cling to. He won't let you, because that is not your Will. Even reading scripture, meditating, praying, none of that will "work". It is all God's Grace at work. The counterfeit spirit will be burnt.

We are as little children, totally dependent on our Father. He won't let us "down" and neither will we let him down.

I am doing rather well Sophorim7, I hope the same is so for you.

I am glad to hear that others in the sphere of communication have also had a very simular experiences.
I have heard about the singing being heard, from a source I cannot recall at the moment.



The above experience with a few others definitly instilled that the physical sensory realm is transitory. I guess that when the temporal is all that meets the eye, the fear of the unknown makes most cling to what is thought to be known.

The dark night of the Soul seems to be a blessing in disguise indeed. I will post this paper I recieved a while back on the D.N.'s of the Soul.

I feel that eventually the purpose will be complete, and I hope humanity makes it as a whole, I often wonder if this is merely grade school for ourSelves to grow.

well im glad it is temporal thats for sure , i would like to talk to others who have heard the singing, i have never heard an other personal stories about it.i know i am a little nuts , but i am glad to know iam NOT CRAZY, its hard to tell ortho Christians about these experiences with out there eyes bugging and then they tell you they will pray for you. i have peace about those times cause i KNOW God is just

sopherim7 wrote:well im glad it is temporal thats for sure , i would like to talk to others who have heard the singing, i have never heard an other personal stories about it.i know i am a little nuts , but i am glad to know iam NOT CRAZY, its hard to tell ortho Christians about these experiences with out there eyes bugging and then they tell you they will pray for you. i have peace about those times cause i KNOW God is just

Take a look at the "MYSTIC VOICE / SOUNDS" topic ~ lots of "inner" Spiritual singing described there.

http://gnosis.forumotion.com/the-mystic-experience-f6/the-voice-of-god-t45.htm


PLU ~ Bob

when i had the beautific vision, i also heard something else right before the 9/11 vision, i heard a trumpet my heart stopped
as i was reading the link because i have had this experiance. do you know of anyone who has had this recentley? i really would like to share about it

I remember the morning of 9/11, a friend was letting me stay at his place for a bit and he woke me up when the first plane hit.
I remember thinking that this was a piece moved on the world chess board and that it was likely to lead to some other things, the news just did not add up afterwards and I cannot see how the masses bought into it as if the news is truth. That was before the conspiracy video's came out.

I hope there is a universal justice awaiting all who do such petty acts on humanity, whoever is really the enablers or doers of such horrible acts on people trying to live and make their way in life.

I would be interested to hear what you have to share Soperim7.

i talk about the vision God gave me about 9/11 on pages 3&4 of the subject what it means to be BORN AGAIN on the Christianity page. this is where i began posting replies so the typing is even worse then it is now if that is possible,
this time in my life was unbelievable and horrible all at the same time as being the most amazing and awesome time ........

Sounds like you had a Kundalini experience. This volatile uprushing of the Vibratory Light can be quite disturbing if one does not understand/know of its possibilities. the fact that you were also studying Raja Yoga at the time may support that you were, indeed , opening the Chakra pathways. Many people become quite despondent after such an event because they have no idea how to channel that energy, how to put it to practical use. It is only through deep contemplative self observation that we can harness, for lack of a better term, the powerful rush of Kundalini. Are you continuing your practice of Raja Yoga?

It was the aphorisms of Patanjali, a book called how to know God, and I was not really using all the breathing techniques, like breathing in one nostril, blowing out the other etc.. I did and do breath slow and deep, I try to do that throughout the day, I noticed I was using probably one third of my lung capacity most my life, when I was calm, naturally I breathed hard during running and training/sports.

I started back on a daily basis a little while ago, and the light started flickering faintly again. But I am just meditating briefly (3o minutes) usually twice a day, back then I liked the way I felt so much I was going within a lot (maybe to much), and seeing visions and lucid dream type things.

I think that would explain why seeing an inner light seemed to not help. It was after that I had felt something was wrong, because I went into feeling hopeless and depression, and making bad choices in life, pretty much I seemed to have messed myself up.

So this time I am working on gaining control of thoughts, emotions and actions(preparation). changing some things in my life, I never want that to happen again.

Come to think of it, that makes sense, because I was abstaining from using sexual energy, and after that first bright light came, that flickered afterwards in my head behind my eyes, I noticed that I lost some of that sexual energy, if you know what I mean.

How can one use it? and what does it really do? I guess I need to read up on that, because that makes a lot of sense.

I cannot believe I overlooked that possibility for so long, but afterwards I was in no state to help myself, I just recently came around to feeling as if I am thinking clearly again.

Thanks!!

Encharma wrote:Sounds like you had a Kundalini experience. This volatile uprushing of the Vibratory Light can be quite disturbing if one does not understand/know of its possibilities. the fact that you were also studying Raja Yoga at the time may support that you were, indeed , opening the Chakra pathways. Many people become quite despondent after such an event because they have no idea how to channel that energy, how to put it to practical use. It is only through deep contemplative self observation that we can harness, for lack of a better term, the powerful rush of Kundalini.

What,in yer opinion, can one do to "channel/harness" the energy after a kundalini uprising? I once experienced energy going up and down my spine, I felt it strong in my stomach, it moved to my spine, real strong feeling, and since I' knew a bit about kundalini, I decide to move it up and down my spine. Then I was prepared to force it through my "skull", but I stopped, and didn't really try too hard, (perhaps subconsciously) fearing I'd be losing something. Then I kinda got out of the meditation. What are yer thoughts on this experience? Perhaps, in the future, I should attempt this again?

It seems Encharma was right, everything I could find pointed towards the notion that I prematurely aroused this energy.

I have been putting off meditation since my last post here and looking for the means to prevent the fall I experienced last time, I cannot afford to have that happen, I have to work and function in this western life for now.

I have found that working on what some call the rough ashlar(purification). I am either going to start up on my own again and chance it, or I have been thinking of joining a certain order, the Rosicrucians, a friend that is a member suggested them.

It would help to have another that has travelled this road already and could give pointers to avoid the pitfalls. Yet it feels as if there is no turning back now, it's just not concievable.

I know I gave much intensity to personal application, and I may have been rushing it, I was merely looking for results, and when I caught glimmers that revealed an inner life, I may have become spiritually greedy and unbalanced, definitly the latter.

I am waiting on a return message from a man in India named Baba on the precautionary steps for the Kundalini, I will likely post it.

well here you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank God !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i for one was worried about you and have been praying for you
AND BOB HAS BEEN WONDERING AS WELL look thru the posts and you will see
so very glad to hear from you and hope to hear some more soon !!!!! interesting subject


sopherim

Iehi Aur wrote:It seems Encharma was right, everything I could find pointed towards the notion that I prematurely aroused this energy.

I have been putting off meditation since my last post here and looking for the means to prevent the fall I experienced last time, I cannot afford to have that happen, I have to work and function in this western life for now.

I have found that working on what some call the rough ashlar(purification). I am either going to start up on my own again and chance it, or I have been thinking of joining a certain order, the Rosicrucians, a friend that is a member suggested them.

It would help to have another that has travelled this road already and could give pointers to avoid the pitfalls. Yet it feels as if there is no turning back now, it's just not concievable.

I know I gave much intensity to personal application, and I may have been rushing it, I was merely looking for results, and when I caught glimmers that revealed an inner life, I may have become spiritually greedy and unbalanced, definitly the latter.

I am waiting on a return message from a man in India named Baba on the precautionary steps for the Kundalini, I will likely post it.

Hi Iehi

Yes, as Sopherim said, we were a little worried about your 'disappearance' from the board, and you did not reply to an email which I sent (has your email address changed?). Anyway, good to hear that you are OK.

As far as your experience and Spiritual progress is concerned, I think you may be a little impatient for seeing progress. I would not 'push' things too much or too hard ~ as long as you are totally sincere in your desire, and keep seeking, everything will come your way in good time. Don't jump into anything with your eyes not fully open - there are so many tempting options which can seem to be right. Question everything. The true way will always answer your Spiritual questions here and now with Peace and Love.

PLU ~ Bob