A Thanks Giving

by tcnast on Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:49 am

I used to take time every so often to go over in my mind all the bad things that had happened to me. Well, one day in the early 1990’s I was doing just that: counting my misfortunes; I remembered this incident in which I fared badly, and I remembered that incident in which I got the short end of the stick. And I held the Creator personally responsible for all my pain. After all, wasn’t it He from whom all blessings flowed? So too I reasoned he must be the source of all my misfortunes. And I was bitter and angry at the Creator for making my life a perfect hell on earth. After thinking about this for some long while, I slipped into a very deep sleep, and there came to me a dream that would forever change my way of looking at life in general and my way of looking at God in particular.

I dreamed that God came to me. Yes you heard right... First I noticed the way he looked at me: it reminded me of the way my parents looked at me when I was a child whenever I erred. It was a look of concern and love, and it was also a stern look, like I should have known better than to do such and such at my age.

God then spoke: he softly said, “You’re so ungrateful — after all I’ve done for you.”

Ow! That hurt. I felt embarrassed and regretful. But when I awoke I again felt angry; what the hell, had he done for me that I should feel grateful about? I was suffering from OCD—though it was being kept under control with medication; I was poor; and I was depressed, and quite frankly I was neurotic, spreading misery and unhappiness wherever I went. So what did I have to feel grateful about? Now I was really mad so I said aloud: “First you make my life a cross-to-bear, and then you tell me I should be grateful for this travail. You're nuts!”

But in this instant, I was blessed with an epiphany. “My God,” I thought; He wants me to be grateful for the knowledge that is associated with the painful events. I was then given to understand that all the progress that I had ever made in my life—and I had made some real progress in various areas of my life—was the outcome of all the painful experiences that I had put up with. What is it that weight-lifters say: “No pain, no gain.” So it is with spiritual progress too.

Now you ask, “How has that realization changed your life.” Well, to begin with it I have to tell you that it does nothing for the pain — the pain still hurts. But I no longer feel resentful for the pain that comes my way. I understand now that I have to be willing to pay the price for my spiritual progress. And I am willing to pay any price to get the spiritual rewards that accompany my pain--and so too it is with your pain.

This understanding or spiritual truth is my Thanksgiving present to one and all. Thank you for listening. Happy Thanksgiving.

by DarkChylde on Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:36 am

That was a beautiful Thanksgiving meditation.

I learned my pain (tho internal and psychological) was something that now gives me a depth of compassion, that others that haven't been thru it cannot know. It also helps them to open up to me with thier own past experiences, when they see I am no longer ashamed or resentful of mine. So while I would have never wished it on my worse enemy (if I had one), it still has played an important part, and I have learned to let it take it's place in my life as well.

Happy holidays, and bright blessings to anyone who doesn't have 'em!!

by tcnast on Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:29 am

DarkChylde wrote:
I learned my pain (tho internal and psychological) was something that now gives me a depth of compassion, that others that haven't been thru it cannot know.

That is so very true DarkChylde. (I remember when my mother was dying of cancer she became very, very sensitive to the suffering of others.) And once through the "long dark night," the compassion you've earned is yours to keep forever--though it may continue to grow.

sunny

Here comes the Sun...

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