MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up; our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

I enjoyed that. Believe it or not my Doctor has this pasted to her bathroom door. One thing, I am a blond, I can press buttons.

that was so funny.. i am blond too so is dark chylde and we all can press buttons just fine

sopherim

sopherim7 wrote:that was so funny.. i am blond too so is dark chylde and we all can press buttons just fine

sopherim

Well, as Groucho Marx would say: "You can come over and press my buttons any day!"

Well, I am technically a strawberry blonde (dingbat with attitude!).... bUT i MESS UP ALL THEe time..... Heh heh.

This was really funny.